An Education: A Cyborg's Tale
by Lily of the Shadow
Summary: He's a World Champion Beyblader. He's super strong, super fast, and super smart. And he has no idea where babies come from. Prequel to 'An Education'. Rated for 'Educational Content'


Here is the long-awaited prequel to 'An Education'. Or not long-awaited, I don't know. Enjoy!

It was a quiet day at the Hiwatari mansion, mostly because two-thirds of its occupants were… shopping.

Tala, however, was still cautious when approaching Liz's room, possibly in fear that Kai had the mansion video-rigged. He just prayed it wasn't audio-rigged as well.

He knocked on the white door. It swung open, revealing Liz, dressed in a pair of tight jeans, a red tank-top and one of Tala's button up shirts that was long enough to nearly pass as a lab coat.

"Zup?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. She backed up and allowed Tala to come in. He did so, watching carefully for any trap that Liz may have laid on the floor. His girlfriend was very… odd, like that.

"Nothing." Tala said, sitting cross-legged on the floor, leaning back against the dresser.

"So to what may I owe this pleasant surprise? You try to avoid my room usually." Liz asked, stretching out on her back next to him, head not quite in his lap.

Tala shifted away slightly. Liz rolled over and sat up.

"Okay, what's wrong, Tal?"

"Nothing is _wrong_, per se, but…"

"Butts are for sitting, not for ending sentences."

"What the _hell_ is PMS?"

Liz paused a moment as Tala grew slightly red. Finally, she burst out laughing.

"Why do you ask, almighty digi-brain? In amongst some 50000 recipes, 200 styles of martial arts and weapons fighting, 30 language dictionaries and grammar aids, and 500 medical textbooks, _nowhere_ in your brain can you find what PMS is!"

Tala glared.

"I overheard my sister and Catty talking about it, and nowhere in any of the databases downloaded into my brain does it say _anything_ about PMS."

"But you do have knowledge of the female anatomy, right?" Silence. "Oh please, dear God, you _don't_? What happened to the medical textbooks in your head!"

Tala remained silent, crossing his arms and glaring.

"Oh geeze…" Liz face-palmed. She dragged her hand down to rest her chin in it. She appeared to be thinking. "PMS… Is short for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. Anything in your databanks ringing a bell?"

"I know what a syndrome is." Tala said dryly. "But nothing on the other two letters of the acronym."

"Oh Lord, did Boris delete _anything_ to do with the female half to the world? Let's see…" Liz muttered, standing up and going to her closet. Tala shifted at his place on the floor, feeling distinctly unsettled. From her place rooting about in the closet, Tala could heard her pelting him with questions. "So you do know what hormones are, right?"

"Hormones are a chemical substance produced in the body's endocrine glands or certain other cells that exerts a regulatory or stimulatory effect, for example, in metabolism." Tala said, no doubt quoting some dictionary put into his brain.

"Any other examples you can come up with?" Liz prodded.

"Of course." Tala said. Liz looked at him expectantly. "Oh, you mean you wanted me to list them?" Liz rolled her eyes.

"Hormones also control responses to sexual stimuli." Liz said. Tala raised an eyebrow.

"Okay. And?"

"…Back to our original subject, because I am NOT getting into that with you right now, it's the hormones that cause PMS." Liz said, taking a deep breath. "Here, look. Anywhere in your system do you have a diagram of the reproductive system?"

"No." Tala spared Liz the agony of guessing this time, to her dismay. Well, she was probably more upset by the fact that he did not, in fact, have any diagrams of the reproductive system.

"So… You…" she gaped, "You don't know… how sex works?"

Tala shook his head slowly, turning red. Liz face-palmed again. She took a pen from her desk and grabbed Tala's arm, drawing impromptu diagrams on the back of his hand.

"This is the female body. This is the male body. I hope you can at least tell the difference between the naked sexes."

"I'm debating whether to dignify that with a response."

"Good. These are the ovaries." Liz pointed. "They contain a hell of a lot of eggs."

"You mean women actually lay eggs!" Tala looked at her incredulously. Liz had to force herself to not laugh. It took her a moment to calm down from not laughing.

"Not entirely true, but not entirely false, either. My gosh, I can't believe I have to explain this to my boyfriend." Liz muttered the last half. Tala, of course heard, but said nothing but to smirk under his blush.

"Okay, it's like this. The ovaries drop eggs into the uterus—" she pointed this out, too, "—on a monthly cycle. During this time, hormones are released, causing moodiness, irritability, and last, but worst, the cramps. After the egg goes unfertilized for such and such time, the uterus begins squeezing in on itself to try and force the blood out, causing bleeding for anywhere from three to five days, and hella lot of cramps."

Tala was silent, mulling this information over.

"So if the egg is fertilized, then you don't have to go through the cramps?"

"…No… I mean, there is morning sickness, bizarre cravings, aches and pains for nine months plus labor, but…No cramps." Liz said cheerfully.

"So then… How does the egg get fertilized?"

Liz froze.

"Oh no. No. I'm _not_ explaining sex to you! Go ask Kai or Rei or your sister or _someone_ other than your girlfriend!"

"You know that they'd never let it go if they knew! Come on. Please?"

Liz sighed deeply, rubbing her eyes.

"I can't believe I'm explaining this… Okay… Whenever you're around girls, do you ever feel… weird at all? Like…" Liz threw her hands up, totally at a loss for words. "I don't know."

Tala blushed. "Kind of… Usually when I'm around you, but sometimes, like…"

"I don't need the sordid details, thank you." Liz shook her head and waved her hands in front of her. "But you get hard, right?"

Tala mulled this over a moment, trying to figure out what she was talking about. When it hit him, he blushed, looking down.

"Yeah. Well, that's used to fertilize the egg."

"I'm going to regret this… but… how?"

"Sex. You stick that thing…" Liz made a gesture towards his crotch, "… into a vagina. After what I'm told is a rather nice experience, sperm gets injected into the uterus to fertilize the egg."

"What happens when there's not an egg?"

"Nothing." Liz shrugged. "The sperm die and just… I don't know…" She looked thoughtful. "I never actually though about it." She tilted her head. "Care to test it out?"

"…Okay?" Tala raised an eyebrow. It was Liz's turn to finally blush.

"NO! No. Sex is like… a big no-no before you're married." Liz said, looking at the ceiling. "You just don't…"

"Then why did you suggest it?"

"I was _joking_, Tal! Honestly!" Liz stood up, crossing her arms. "If you must, go have your own fun in your room." She said. Tala raised an eyebrow before connecting the dots and blushing a bit more. He stood up.

"Thanks, I think."

"I can't believe you don't have some sort of serial port you could download the inf—" Liz broke off and blushed deeply, shoving Tala out of the room. "Me ad my dirty mind… Out, out. You got what you needed to know, out!"

"Hey!" Tala protested. He turned himself around and landed a kiss on Liz's lips before he was locked out of the room. He looked down at himself, shivered, and walked off.

"Next time I need to know something, I should remember that we do have an internet connection…" He trailed off.


End file.
